Remembering Kindnesses Shown During My Lifetime...

 

In this post, I am remembering some people who have shown me great kindness at a time when I needed physical and/or emotional kindness and encouragement.  Since I will be using my mother as an example of someone who showed me great kindness in my early childhood, I have posted a picture of Mom and me shortly after I was born.  Since I was born on December 7, 1944 in La Crosse, WI, this photo must have been taken the following spring when there would have been warmer weather in WI.  Perhaps this was taken on Easter of 1945.

One month after my fourth birthday, I was with my father, my brother and a younger sister as we were on our way to church. It was Sunday morning, January 2, 1949.  My mother had stayed home with my youngest sister who was 16 months old.  We lived on a farm which was seven miles from the Nazarene Church we attended in Winona, MN.  Apparently it had been snowing during the night and only one lane of the road was plowed out at the time of our drive.  The road was somewhat hilly and curvy.  At one point there was a sharp, blind corner with big trees obscuring site around the corner.  Apparently we entered that curve going in one direction while another vehicle was doing the same coming directly toward us.  We collided head-on with the oncoming car.  I was standing on the passenger side floor board looking out the front windshield.  My face smashed into the metal dashboard of our car and six of my top baby teeth were knocked out.  My father’s glasses flew off his face and landed in the backseat.  My six year old brother and my two year old sister were sitting in the back seat and were not significantly hurt.  I vaguely remember being in a dentist’s office following the accident where I was being examined.  My teeth were never found. 

I imagine my parents called my Grandparents who lived in Chicago, IL at that time to tell them about the accident. I have my Grandmother, Amanda Isaacs Groves’s, diary from that date and this is what she wrote about the accident.
“On Sun. Jan. 2nd Jas (James) & 3 children collided with another car near Semlings, damaging their car & hurting Linda quite badly knocking teeth out & cutting her jaw.  Jas & Jimmy were bumped & bruised but Kathy wasn’t hurt at all.  Sent card and toy bank phone to Linda.”

 

I have only vague memories of this accident but one thing that I do remember quite clearly was being rocked in a rocking chair by my mother after the accident.  I remember that she held me with my head over her knees and my legs up to her shoulders.  It must be that I remember this because it was not the usual way for a small child to be held.  I have never really thought about why she held me this way until recently.  It must be that my mouth and face injuries were rather significant and if she had held me facing her in the usual manner it would have caused my face to painfully be bumped into her chest or shoulder.  And perhaps the reason I remember being held at all is that I had two younger sisters at the time of this accident and they were probably

getting most of Mom’s rocking chair time before I was injured.   The photo shows the five Groves kids in our Fountain City farm kitchen with Barbara and Kathleen in the rocking chair and myself holding a very young Margelyn who had been born on October 4, 1950.  This was nearly two years after the car accident but you can tell that I am missing my upper teeth.  The rocking chair would have been where my mother rocked me following the car accident.The story of Mom rocking me as a four year old after the car accident is a very precious memory which clearly demonstrates one of the many times my mother showed me sweet, loving, caring  kindness.  I’m certain that her gentle rocking brought comfort and security when I might have been experiencing pain and fear.  How grateful I am that I had an understanding, compassionate and kind mother.  

I tried to locate a photo of myself without those six teeth but I can't find one.  I know that I was quite aware of my loss and I must have kept my mouth closed when photos were taken of me before my permanent teeth came in.  The photo to the right is me as I started grade 2 at age seven.

 

 

 

I found another school picture of myself when I was 12 years old and in sixth grade.  This photo reveals the fact that some of my permanent teeth had come in but some remained delayed.  After an x-ray of my mouth, it was found that one of my permanent teeth had been damaged in the car accident and was deformed.  It was lodged against a properly developing tooth which was preventing that tooth from coming down as it was supposed to.  I had a surgical procedure to remove the damaged tooth which then allowed my delayed tooth to move into place as it should.  Evidence does remain that I have a missing tooth on one side of my face but the gap has filled in by the shift in my teeth somewhat.  It was my mother who was the advocate for the help I would get to have a successful outcome for my permanent teeth following the accident I was in at age 4.  Even though funds were very limited in our family, Mom was aware of the importance of my having teeth that provided me with what would give me lifetime value.  The tooth that matched the damaged tooth that had to be removed, came into my jaw in its proper place but it, too, had been damaged.  It was smaller than normal and about the color of a pumpkin.  I was very conscious of its abnormality and continued to keep my mouth closed or covered with my hand when I was able to do one of those things for all my teenage years.  I would finally get some correction of that issue in the first year of marriage.  My husband, John Worden, knew how much I was bothered by my defective tooth.  My parents had not been able to afford the procedure to fix the problem.  But in the first few months after our wedding, John said, "We're going to get that tooth fixed for you."  That happened with the capping of the deformed tooth in the color and shape of the tooth it was supposed to be.  What a relief for me to have another kindness shown for a situation that made a huge difference in my self-image.  I am so grateful for that husband who still is a kind, loving and faithful man after 54 years of marriage and counting.

 

I now post a few more photos of my mother and me in which you can see the smile I have with my "after marriage" mouth.  Mom and I were attending a retreat at Laity Lodge in the "look alike" teal blouses. 

 

Photo below is Mom and me at Mom’s 90th Birthday celebration six months before she joined my  Dad in heaven.

 

 

I now move to share another example as I "remember kindnesses" shown to me during my lifetime. 

 

This next memorable act of kindness came during the summer of 1964 when I was nineteen years old.  I had just finished my freshman year of college at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, WI.  Throughout the year I had attended weekly meetings of Badger Christian Fellowship which was an Inter-Varsity Chapter at UW-Madison.   As the school year ended, some of the students planned to attend an Inter-Varsity Camp at Bear Trap Ranch in the mountains above Colorado Springs, CO.  Following the three week camp some of the students planned to be part of a summer program led by Inter-Varsity Staff which took place in Estes Park, CO.  Estes Park is a major tourist attraction and many seasonal businesses hired college students to work in their shops during the summer months.  Inter-Varsity invited interested students to plan to stay in CO after the camp session, get a summer job in Estes Park and develop friendships with other college students in order to be a witness for Jesus Christ.  I had become friends with an upper classman at UW who had done this the previous year.  She had been a waitress at a popular restaurant and made $600.00 in six weeks!!!  That amount of money was terrific!!!  The cost of my freshman year of school had been $820.00.  My parents were not able to cover the cost of my college so a small scholarship and my savings had covered my first year.  I needed to get a good summer job in order to pay for my sophomore year.  I thought that if I could get to Estes Park, CO, I would be able to get a job and make even more than $600.00 because I planned to start work early in the summer.  I couldn’t afford the cost of the three week camp so I thought that I would get to Estes Park ahead of the Inter-Varsity students and that way I would have a longer season of work.  I had a sister who had just graduated from high school and she needed a summer job also.  

Photo below was taken as my sister and I prepared to board a train from near our farm home in WI in order to get to Madison, WI.

We and a couple others were able to get a ride from Madison, WI with a fellow who was driving to Colorado Springs.  From Colorado Springs, we took a Greyhound bus to Boulder, CO where we had the name of a family who offered us an overnight in their home before we took another Greyhound bus to Estes Park.  We arrived in Estes Park mid morning on Tuesday, June 16, 1964.  We got directions to the employment agency in Estes Park and permission to leave our luggage at the bus station until we knew where we would spend the first night. 

We headed out the door to the Employment Agency and walked into that office just before noon.  We told the folks there that we were looking for summer jobs.  They handed us application forms to fill out and told us that we were people numbers 95 and 96 who had come to that office that day and there were no jobs available for any of us!  I imagine that we were shocked and heart broken but we wisely asked for advice about what we should do in order to find employment.  The person in that office suggested that after filling out the forms he had handed us, we daily walk up and down the streets of town, go in every place that hired summer help and ask if they had any job openings.  We must have viewed that as a hint of hope.

We would do that starting the next day but first we had to find a place to stay for the night, go back to get our luggage at the bus station and find some food. 

We had the name and address of a retired missionary woman who had a bunk house on her property which she made available to college students who worked during the summer in Estes Park and were part of the Inter-Varsity summer program.  The people at the Employment Agency knew of Mom Manford and were able to give us directions to her home.  We took off again on foot and found her at home when we got there.  She warmly welcomed us.  She said that no one was in the bunk house at that time and we could stay there until July 2nd when the Inter-Varsity students would come from Colorado Springs.  How thrilled we were to have this place for at least two weeks.  We hiked off to the bus station where we got a taxi back to the bunk house because our suitcases were huge, heavy and did not have wheels.   How grateful we were to be settled for the night in the welcoming though rustic bunk house.  During the night the outside temperature dropped to 36 degrees with wind whipping through the broken glass panes in some of the windows.  There was no heater in that bunk house but there was a bath with running cold water.

I am quite sure our spirits and hopes were still high though we knew we were 1,200 miles from home with no transportation except our feet, few funds between us, limited access to pay phones and with no one we knew except Mom Manford, and she only known for one day. We also knew we had God within us and our parents praying for us so we could trust the Lord. 

As we walked each day back and forth from our bunk house to shops in the center of town, we passed a little Baptist Church.  We took note of service times but did not stop in until our first Sunday when we attended the morning service.  People were quite friendly and offered to let us know if they heard of any available jobs. 

As unsuccessful after unsuccessful days passed, we would have a few moments of hope as some businesses would tell us that they expected to possibly have an opening in a few days so come back  later to see if a job had opened.  We returned only to be told there still was no opening for work. 

We had found the local Post Office and rented a P.O. Box that we checked each day as well as inquired of the Post Master whether or not there was any General Delivery mail for us.  We started receiving letters from our mother not long after our arrival in Estes Park.  That was encouraging.  Another encouragement came from Mom Manford.  Besides the bunk house for guests, she had a furnished cabin that had a kitchen in it.  Other folks were in that cabin when we arrived but they left about a week after we moved into the bunk house.  Upon their departure, Mom Manford told us we could move into the cabin until July 2nd.  This was wonderful because we could now shop for groceries and fix our own meals which saved time and money.  Our money was dwindling fast but we had carefully checked out prices at every restaurant in town to see where we could eat most economically.  We had found a drive-in on the far edge of town from our cabin where they sold hamburgers for $.19 each.  That was our frequent go-to place for a meal. 

On the second Sunday in Estes Park, we again attended the little Baptist Church.  There on our previous visits we had met George and Joyce Bennett.  They were about the age of our parents and were quite friendly - especially Joyce.  We saw them again that second Sunday but left the church without any lingering conversations.  The church was quite close to Mom Manford's and the people at the church knew her and knew that we were staying there. 

My sister and I got back to our cabin knowing it was time for lunch.  I decided to open a can of soup and prepare something to eat.  I stood by the stove and opened the cupboard above it when I was overcome by a wave of what I think must have been deep loneliness and homesickness.  I suddenly had a sinking feeling and thought of how far we were from home and how hopeless our summer was looking.   I did not want my sister to know what my thoughts were because I was trying to maintain a positive demeanor with her as she was already getting discouraged.  But before I could get the can of soup opened, I heard a car drive up to our cabin and within seconds, the front door opened and Joyce Bennett walzed in with these words:  “Hi girls!  George and I are going to pack a picnic lunch and drive up to Mary’s Lake.  Do you want to go with us?”  Of course our united exuberant answer was an emphatic “Yes!”  Even though we had no idea where Mary’s Lake was or where we would be driving to get there, we knew that our summer was suddenly not completely doom and gloom.  

I doubt that my sister and I knew very much about the terrain of CO or had any idea that Estes Park was at the entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park but we were about to get introduced to one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.  

This invitation for two lonely, young gals to join in a picnic lunch and a drive into the Rocky Mountain wilderness changed much as my sister and I were being shown incredible love and friendship in a place so unknown to us.  As naive and crazy as our plan for summer employment was, we now had a lifeline to hope.

Early the next week, Joyce introduced my sister and me to a woman who owned and operated a laundromat in Estes Park.  This woman offered ironing to her customers so needed people to do that ironing the old fashioned way.  We were pros from our childhood.  We started almost immediately and were paid $1.00/hour.  We still hoped to find waitress jobs because we thought we could make more money where we would get tips along with an hourly wage.  The laudromat had only one iron and ironing board for us to use so we took turns doing that job and kept searching for other work.  We at least weren’t going to starve.  Before we started ironng we had used all but less than a dollar between us.  We had definitely been praying about our need so we knew God was answering.  Another answer came in a letter from our mother.  Before leaving for CO I had purchased a new pair of dress shoes but had changed my mind about keeping them.  I didn’t have time myself to return them to the store so my mother did that for me.  The letter with the money from that pair of shoes arrived just as we were eating very lightly and infrequently.  The $14.00 from the returned shoes was hugely helpful. 

Something else I didn’t know about the person who had invited us to the picnic adventure was that Joyce was going to become one of the kindest, most influential people in my life.   The picnic and the job interview were just the first two of many kindnesses that I have received in my long years of knowing Joyce Bennett.

I will name a few more of those kindnesses.
My sister kept the ironing job for the rest of the summer but I was hired as a waitress on July 2nd which included a room in the restaurant owner’s home basement next door which had been made into a dorm for the summer waitresses.  Photo below is outside of Ranch House Restaurant in Estes Park, CO  July 4 - Sept. 4, 1964

Joyce often invited us to her home when we had a day off.

George and Joyce took us back into Rocky Mountain Park to see other inspiring places.  

L - R below Linda, Joyce, Kathy

Photo below shows me standing beside a new sign in June 2019 with the same information that the above sign had in 1964.

On August 1st of the 1964 summer, some of the other waitresses along with the bus boys, decided to stay out well past our 11:00 pm curfew and came back in the middle of the night making lots of noise and being sick from their night of partying.  I was awakened and began taking care of these girls.  At 5:00AM, the owner of the restaurant came down into the basement and shouted, “You’re all fired.  Pack your things and get out!”  I hurriedly explained that I had not been out with the group but apparently I was implicated so no exceptions were made.  

 

I used the phone in the restaurant and called Joyce.  She heard my shaken voice and said, “say no more. I’ll be right there to get you.”  She picked me up.  Took me to her house and said, “The thing you need to do first is sleep.  Here’s a bed.  We’ll talk more when you wake up.”  When I awakened, I learned that Joyce had called another restaurant and they needed another waitress.  Joyce took me there and I was hired at Crowleys and worked there for the rest of the summer.  

 

The first restaurant would find me and came to my new restaurant to beg me to return to my former job.  I told them I had already moved out and taken another job and I wasn’t willing to leave my new employer.  “But will you come and work the evening shift each day (my new job was from 6am - 2pm) and all day on your day off?”  So I agreed to that deal and ended my summer with $1,200.00 to cover my sophomore year of college.

 

I have written much more extensively about that summer in Estes Park on another blog I have.  You can find it there should you want the highs and lows of that summer for my sister and me.

 

Joyce and I remained in touch after I left that summer but have connected in person on a couple return trips to Estes Park - once with my husband and once with our daughter.

Photo below is myself, Joyce and husband John on  Dec. 3, 2009

Photo below is daughter Sarah with Joyce in June 2019.

Photo below is myself and Joyce on my visit to Estes Park with Sarah in late June 2019.  

Joyce is my faithful encourager.   Whenever I post an update to my blog or send her an email, she sends a kind and very thoughtful note.  In her 90’s she still knows and loves me and shares words of affirmation which are what I need from time to time in order to know that God has mightily blessed me with a true and godly friend that cares for me without reserve.  This is kindness at its best.

Many others in my life have been kind to me and my family which I may write about in the future but for now I will draw this post to a close being very confident that God has provided me with loving kindness during many different periods of my life when I was hurting physically and/or emotionally.  How grateful I am.